If my life were a book I could turn back through the pages and put a marker on some of the most significant events that have made who I am today. From personal achievements, love found, love lost, and people who have made a difference and will never know it. Each of these events had their own impact into who I have become. As painful and frustrating as some of it has been, I wouldn’t change a moment of it.
Yeah I know kind of cliché, but I wouldn’t. It has been through some challenges and missteps in my life that led me to some of the greatest moments thus far. Would I like to be more successful than I have to this point, of course, but I guess what it comes down to is what one can measure success by? Does it have to do with one’s social status, how much money you make, what your job title is? I suppose all of these could be considered a legitimate way to quantify success, if those are the things that are important to you and for a long time, I think that those were the only things that had been important to me. Recently however I have begun to look at the world through, not different eyes, but more like when you go into the store and put the sunglasses on with funky colors. It’s a certain clarity of the world that I had never noticed before that seems to continually remove the remaining fog.
For a very long time I have wanted to be involved in government, but over the last year the more I have watched I have begun to wonder, can I do more for the world around me by being a part of the government or can I do more as an independent mind outside of the grotesque corruption of it? And while asking myself that question, I think I have come to the conclusion that it is the latter. Outside as an independent mind I can say what I need to say and not have to take concern if I am pissing of a potential donor or a voter.
I watched a movie today and a particular line really stuck with me, “Say what you mean, and mean what you say.” Seems like pure logic, if we all had the ability to do such a thing the complexity of the world in which we live would be so much easier. The question is how many people can actually face and deal with the truth of another's perception? I am guessing that would be the hardest part, but I keep thinking to hell with it, what if I try to live by that…where would life lead me then.
What if I just let everyone know what I was thinking and just took all of the sugar coating bullshit out of it? Would the world around me come crashing down, probably, but that has to leave the question is it the world that I wanted? Just the power in thinking about it really just wakes you up. Suppose for example I walk into work tomorrow and start telling everyone exactly what I think… chances are within a few hours I may not have a job anymore. It’s not my dream job, but it does pay the bills, and whether or not I like it or not I always give a 100% of myself to what I do. At most it occupies my time and teaches me some new life lessons from time to time. Does it make me happy…no, and it probably never will.
Then why do it? Well to tell you the truth, I have lost a lot of confidence in myself over the years and that ability to dream big has been flushed away. I have been trying to regain that as of lately, but my journey there is just beginning. Probably more than anything though, I have let myself become victim to one of the worst atrocities that man/woman commit upon themselves…I have become the slave of what others think and let them project that on me. If you spend a lot of time feeling like your ideas are never good enough, or allow people to talk down to you based on a title or position, you too are a self-inflicted victim. I have to break free from it.
I have to remind myself that those people in a relatively small place of the world do not appreciate what my mind has to offer, somewhere out there in the world it does matter and it can make a difference. Besides, if you try to analyze the situation, you often find that those who interact with you in that way, often just have things about themselves that they are unhappy with or they too have made themselves victims and their only method of dealing with it is to project it upon others. It really is a sad cycle and for some reason we all just seem to become content with it. Not me, not anymore.
Today I am marking the beginning of my personal revolution. Today I will begin reclaiming me and take charge of the world around. I am going to put myself back out there and remember that those who chose to criticize, demean, or just project negativity towards me, are only road blocks to a better place. I am and will be of some importance to this world before my days are numbered. I don’t know how and may not know how until it has happened, but damn it, I am going to do it.
One of the biggest themes in philosophy is the question of why are we here; well I think the answer is much easier than has ever been let on, which is why some of the world’s most complex minds couldn’t see it. Often the greatest mysteries of life are hidden in plain sight. We over look them because they seem too simple to be the solution to something that we see as being so complex…life.
So then why are we here? Well, I think it’s just to experience life and what it has to offer. Robert Frost once wrote “Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.” Indeed, the biggest joke on would be at the end to find out that we just here to be here, that there was no big reason for it, other than to live and experience the wonders of human life.
Why am I even sharing this, because my hopes are maybe, just maybe, That my simple thoughts may provoke you to think about your own life and take the direction you want with it. We are so worried all of the time about being politically correct, non-prejudice, and non-sexist, unbiased, whatever you want to call it…
Look the fact of life is this, we are all different, and we think, act, feel different things…but instead of spending so much time worrying about how others are different form us, why not just embrace these differences as something that is special to us. And here is the one that surely will get a raise, there is nothing wrong with having a prejudice, we all have them towards one thing or another, in some cases that is people. This is human nature and we just lie to ourselves if we deny it. What is wrong however, is mistreating another because of your prejudice. We are all sent to this world with an equal chance granted not by man, but by the hand of the Almighty. So at the end of the day, unless you are Thee, I suggest letting the judgment of another’s merits be left to the hands in which they belong.
Maybe I don’t like you, I can be honest with you and let you know that, but it doesn’t give me the right to block or make your life more difficult, in reality all it does is degrade the value of me. Luckily however, I have been fortunate by the grace of God to love people in general, I do have my prejudices, but they are based more upon a person’s personality towards me than a skin color, age, mental capacity, or sexual preference.
Well that’s all for right now I have a few other thoughts bouncing around my brain right now that I would like to write about….so maybe I will be back with more soon…who knows. Anywho… Enjoy!
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