The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of change and growth for me.
· Thursday afternoon I received a message from one of the brothers at my Lodge (I am a Freemason for those that didn’t know), and he asked if I could come and sit in on an interview that was going to be done with our local paper here in Weymouth. I tend to be a very reserved person when it comes to dealing with the media, but I also feel I have a certain obligation to my Lodge and my fellow Masons. So I did end up going, but when the report came to me and asked me what it was that made me become a Mason and why I got out of it, for once in my life I didn’t have to piece together a response it just rolled out, which signifies to me it was nothing forced and the way I felt about it.
To summarize it my response was I joined the Freemasons because I was looking to be a part of something bigger than myself and have an opportunity to give back to my community. Which I have, but also there was a bonus that I had not anticipated, I have, and continue to make acquaintance and friends with some of the best guys I have had the pleasure to meet.
· Other events of the past few weeks have included being passed up for a promotion at my company and essentially being told that I had no leadership ability, and the irony of that is that same weekend I attended a leadership conference. I am not a sore sport, but I had to realize after four years with no advancement the time to move on has come. I have spent too much time trying to prove that I am worth it to these people, when I shouldn’t have to. I know I am worth it and though I can be replaced and another person will be able to do the job, they are going to be losing a hard-working and dedicated employee. At this point however it is something that I need to do for me, being held back because I do not seem to appease this management team is not going to be the end of my career advancement. I know what I am worth and I know sooner or later I am going to find a company that is willing to take a chance on me and find out exactly what I am capable of when given the opportunity.
· Gill and I have continued to remain civil and have made progress at getting our assets (bank accounts) divided. Pretty much all that is left to do at this point is to find places to live. I am happy to report that she may have a potential place for her and Skylar, and it pleases me more that it sounds as though it will be a safe environment for both of them. Keeping my fingers crossed for them.
It seems as though some people are still having issues grasping the fact that even though we are getting divorced we are able to remain civil and stay friends. Sorry folks that is how I roll.
We spend too much time in this life being mad and angry, I see no need for it, I have once chance at this life and I have no desire for more enemies.
· On notes of my own divorce, I came to find that a very dear friend has run into difficult times and I continue to pray for her and hers that things will work out in what is in the best interest for all. This is one of a few people in my life that I would do just about anything for and I know she knows it, but I keep feeling the need to reminder her. I might drive her crazy, but I think she knows my intentions are just out of concern for her. I hate to know that she is hurting and I can’t just go give her a big hug. Hang in there sweetie.
· I have pretty much scrapped the book I was trying to work on yet again. I have to put my focus back on finding a new job right now and I have a feeling this is not going to be an easy search. There are tons of jobs out there right now, but as I read through each one I continue to feel as though finding something that I am qualified for just isn’t happening. I really long for the days of when an education meant something. When I first went to college they told us go get the education and there will be better jobs for you…well I am still looking for those better jobs. My friends who just did high school make more than I do, maybe they had the right idea.
All of these jobs out there want X amount of years experience and all I have are some expensive pieces of paper and a mind to do a ton of work.
So it goes. I need to just keep pushing ahead and soon I will find something worthwhile.
Well that’s all I have for now. I still have a lot on my mind that I need to decipher, but for now I am going to keep on moving along. Keep the faith and stay strong people…I’ll catch you all on the dark side of it.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
King of the Buffoons -- Glen Beck
In view of what will surely be a spaztacular weekend for the Right-wingers with their hero Glen Beck, I must get a few words of my own in. Agree or disagree with me, I am not writing this for feedback, more so in hopes that a few of you that seemingly live on his every word, will take a moment and do so fact checking before swallowing all that is being fed.
First and foremost Mr. Beck is a media personality, meaning he is trying to sell you and get ratings for himself and Fox News, not serve your best interest. Secondly I have been viewing a lot of his stuff recently and in actuality a lot of his “historical” facts are incorrect, and sadly enough there are enough people out there that lack a true knowledge of US and World History that actually believe this buffoon. He, much like the man he loves to demonize, is using the fears and raw emotions of people to achieve his own agenda—that being making Glen Beck more money and more fame.
I am always told by my right-wing friends that the left is full of loons, well my friends, this is your loon. Recently I have stepped away from any heavy political discussion, because quite frankly both sides have nothing real that they are offering. We have a President who cannot get his own party to work with him and has taken on much more than he can chew- offering nothing but the repetitiveness of blaming it on the preceding President. Look at this point Mr. President, we know what happened and how we got here, I am tired of hearing your stump speech on what G.W. Bush did wrong. I want to hear it on what we are doing right and how we will continue to make things better, and then, ready…here’s the kicker…I want to see results.
Now to the other major party, well, quit trying to block every piece of legislation, on a just because basis. You have offered nothing new to the conversation, you offer revamped old ideas that didn’t work when you tried them before, and well, probably wouldn’t work again. You feed the people with fears and try to delegitimize our President, YES OUR PRESIDENT.
Back to Mr. Beck, again this man is the King of the Buffoons, and if you really think that this man is there to serve your best interest, you are and will be sadly mistaken. Is he entertaining to watch, of course, but have no doubts his agenda is not about you or the welfare of this nation….it is about what is best for Glen Beck.
I will leave you with this, if you are looking for information about US History, visit a museum, or pick up a history book, never, and I don’t care which news network you watch, never trust information from a media spokesperson as legitimate.
First and foremost Mr. Beck is a media personality, meaning he is trying to sell you and get ratings for himself and Fox News, not serve your best interest. Secondly I have been viewing a lot of his stuff recently and in actuality a lot of his “historical” facts are incorrect, and sadly enough there are enough people out there that lack a true knowledge of US and World History that actually believe this buffoon. He, much like the man he loves to demonize, is using the fears and raw emotions of people to achieve his own agenda—that being making Glen Beck more money and more fame.
I am always told by my right-wing friends that the left is full of loons, well my friends, this is your loon. Recently I have stepped away from any heavy political discussion, because quite frankly both sides have nothing real that they are offering. We have a President who cannot get his own party to work with him and has taken on much more than he can chew- offering nothing but the repetitiveness of blaming it on the preceding President. Look at this point Mr. President, we know what happened and how we got here, I am tired of hearing your stump speech on what G.W. Bush did wrong. I want to hear it on what we are doing right and how we will continue to make things better, and then, ready…here’s the kicker…I want to see results.
Now to the other major party, well, quit trying to block every piece of legislation, on a just because basis. You have offered nothing new to the conversation, you offer revamped old ideas that didn’t work when you tried them before, and well, probably wouldn’t work again. You feed the people with fears and try to delegitimize our President, YES OUR PRESIDENT.
Back to Mr. Beck, again this man is the King of the Buffoons, and if you really think that this man is there to serve your best interest, you are and will be sadly mistaken. Is he entertaining to watch, of course, but have no doubts his agenda is not about you or the welfare of this nation….it is about what is best for Glen Beck.
I will leave you with this, if you are looking for information about US History, visit a museum, or pick up a history book, never, and I don’t care which news network you watch, never trust information from a media spokesperson as legitimate.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Something Different
Their bodies align on a mist of a tailored wine.
Her cloak is shed to reveal what she already knew was on his mind.
Their uncovered skin touches as their flesh begins to entwine.
A bed of flowers beneath them, above a canopy created by the nor...thern sky.
Her flesh drew a shiver as he caressed his hand down her spine.
In a moment two becomes one, their souls conjoined under the midnight sun.
Ecstasy continues to build as each movement shifts the earth beneath her.
This is how we touch the sun; this is how we see the light of day.
Her cloak is shed to reveal what she already knew was on his mind.
Their uncovered skin touches as their flesh begins to entwine.
A bed of flowers beneath them, above a canopy created by the nor...thern sky.
Her flesh drew a shiver as he caressed his hand down her spine.
In a moment two becomes one, their souls conjoined under the midnight sun.
Ecstasy continues to build as each movement shifts the earth beneath her.
This is how we touch the sun; this is how we see the light of day.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
No You Read That Right...
If my life were a book I could turn back through the pages and put a marker on some of the most significant events that have made who I am today. From personal achievements, love found, love lost, and people who have made a difference and will never know it. Each of these events had their own impact into who I have become. As painful and frustrating as some of it has been, I wouldn’t change a moment of it.
Yeah I know kind of cliché, but I wouldn’t. It has been through some challenges and missteps in my life that led me to some of the greatest moments thus far. Would I like to be more successful than I have to this point, of course, but I guess what it comes down to is what one can measure success by? Does it have to do with one’s social status, how much money you make, what your job title is? I suppose all of these could be considered a legitimate way to quantify success, if those are the things that are important to you and for a long time, I think that those were the only things that had been important to me. Recently however I have begun to look at the world through, not different eyes, but more like when you go into the store and put the sunglasses on with funky colors. It’s a certain clarity of the world that I had never noticed before that seems to continually remove the remaining fog.
For a very long time I have wanted to be involved in government, but over the last year the more I have watched I have begun to wonder, can I do more for the world around me by being a part of the government or can I do more as an independent mind outside of the grotesque corruption of it? And while asking myself that question, I think I have come to the conclusion that it is the latter. Outside as an independent mind I can say what I need to say and not have to take concern if I am pissing of a potential donor or a voter.
I watched a movie today and a particular line really stuck with me, “Say what you mean, and mean what you say.” Seems like pure logic, if we all had the ability to do such a thing the complexity of the world in which we live would be so much easier. The question is how many people can actually face and deal with the truth of another's perception? I am guessing that would be the hardest part, but I keep thinking to hell with it, what if I try to live by that…where would life lead me then.
What if I just let everyone know what I was thinking and just took all of the sugar coating bullshit out of it? Would the world around me come crashing down, probably, but that has to leave the question is it the world that I wanted? Just the power in thinking about it really just wakes you up. Suppose for example I walk into work tomorrow and start telling everyone exactly what I think… chances are within a few hours I may not have a job anymore. It’s not my dream job, but it does pay the bills, and whether or not I like it or not I always give a 100% of myself to what I do. At most it occupies my time and teaches me some new life lessons from time to time. Does it make me happy…no, and it probably never will.
Then why do it? Well to tell you the truth, I have lost a lot of confidence in myself over the years and that ability to dream big has been flushed away. I have been trying to regain that as of lately, but my journey there is just beginning. Probably more than anything though, I have let myself become victim to one of the worst atrocities that man/woman commit upon themselves…I have become the slave of what others think and let them project that on me. If you spend a lot of time feeling like your ideas are never good enough, or allow people to talk down to you based on a title or position, you too are a self-inflicted victim. I have to break free from it.
I have to remind myself that those people in a relatively small place of the world do not appreciate what my mind has to offer, somewhere out there in the world it does matter and it can make a difference. Besides, if you try to analyze the situation, you often find that those who interact with you in that way, often just have things about themselves that they are unhappy with or they too have made themselves victims and their only method of dealing with it is to project it upon others. It really is a sad cycle and for some reason we all just seem to become content with it. Not me, not anymore.
Today I am marking the beginning of my personal revolution. Today I will begin reclaiming me and take charge of the world around. I am going to put myself back out there and remember that those who chose to criticize, demean, or just project negativity towards me, are only road blocks to a better place. I am and will be of some importance to this world before my days are numbered. I don’t know how and may not know how until it has happened, but damn it, I am going to do it.
One of the biggest themes in philosophy is the question of why are we here; well I think the answer is much easier than has ever been let on, which is why some of the world’s most complex minds couldn’t see it. Often the greatest mysteries of life are hidden in plain sight. We over look them because they seem too simple to be the solution to something that we see as being so complex…life.
So then why are we here? Well, I think it’s just to experience life and what it has to offer. Robert Frost once wrote “Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.” Indeed, the biggest joke on would be at the end to find out that we just here to be here, that there was no big reason for it, other than to live and experience the wonders of human life.
Why am I even sharing this, because my hopes are maybe, just maybe, That my simple thoughts may provoke you to think about your own life and take the direction you want with it. We are so worried all of the time about being politically correct, non-prejudice, and non-sexist, unbiased, whatever you want to call it…
Look the fact of life is this, we are all different, and we think, act, feel different things…but instead of spending so much time worrying about how others are different form us, why not just embrace these differences as something that is special to us. And here is the one that surely will get a raise, there is nothing wrong with having a prejudice, we all have them towards one thing or another, in some cases that is people. This is human nature and we just lie to ourselves if we deny it. What is wrong however, is mistreating another because of your prejudice. We are all sent to this world with an equal chance granted not by man, but by the hand of the Almighty. So at the end of the day, unless you are Thee, I suggest letting the judgment of another’s merits be left to the hands in which they belong.
Maybe I don’t like you, I can be honest with you and let you know that, but it doesn’t give me the right to block or make your life more difficult, in reality all it does is degrade the value of me. Luckily however, I have been fortunate by the grace of God to love people in general, I do have my prejudices, but they are based more upon a person’s personality towards me than a skin color, age, mental capacity, or sexual preference.
Well that’s all for right now I have a few other thoughts bouncing around my brain right now that I would like to write about….so maybe I will be back with more soon…who knows. Anywho… Enjoy!
Yeah I know kind of cliché, but I wouldn’t. It has been through some challenges and missteps in my life that led me to some of the greatest moments thus far. Would I like to be more successful than I have to this point, of course, but I guess what it comes down to is what one can measure success by? Does it have to do with one’s social status, how much money you make, what your job title is? I suppose all of these could be considered a legitimate way to quantify success, if those are the things that are important to you and for a long time, I think that those were the only things that had been important to me. Recently however I have begun to look at the world through, not different eyes, but more like when you go into the store and put the sunglasses on with funky colors. It’s a certain clarity of the world that I had never noticed before that seems to continually remove the remaining fog.
For a very long time I have wanted to be involved in government, but over the last year the more I have watched I have begun to wonder, can I do more for the world around me by being a part of the government or can I do more as an independent mind outside of the grotesque corruption of it? And while asking myself that question, I think I have come to the conclusion that it is the latter. Outside as an independent mind I can say what I need to say and not have to take concern if I am pissing of a potential donor or a voter.
I watched a movie today and a particular line really stuck with me, “Say what you mean, and mean what you say.” Seems like pure logic, if we all had the ability to do such a thing the complexity of the world in which we live would be so much easier. The question is how many people can actually face and deal with the truth of another's perception? I am guessing that would be the hardest part, but I keep thinking to hell with it, what if I try to live by that…where would life lead me then.
What if I just let everyone know what I was thinking and just took all of the sugar coating bullshit out of it? Would the world around me come crashing down, probably, but that has to leave the question is it the world that I wanted? Just the power in thinking about it really just wakes you up. Suppose for example I walk into work tomorrow and start telling everyone exactly what I think… chances are within a few hours I may not have a job anymore. It’s not my dream job, but it does pay the bills, and whether or not I like it or not I always give a 100% of myself to what I do. At most it occupies my time and teaches me some new life lessons from time to time. Does it make me happy…no, and it probably never will.
Then why do it? Well to tell you the truth, I have lost a lot of confidence in myself over the years and that ability to dream big has been flushed away. I have been trying to regain that as of lately, but my journey there is just beginning. Probably more than anything though, I have let myself become victim to one of the worst atrocities that man/woman commit upon themselves…I have become the slave of what others think and let them project that on me. If you spend a lot of time feeling like your ideas are never good enough, or allow people to talk down to you based on a title or position, you too are a self-inflicted victim. I have to break free from it.
I have to remind myself that those people in a relatively small place of the world do not appreciate what my mind has to offer, somewhere out there in the world it does matter and it can make a difference. Besides, if you try to analyze the situation, you often find that those who interact with you in that way, often just have things about themselves that they are unhappy with or they too have made themselves victims and their only method of dealing with it is to project it upon others. It really is a sad cycle and for some reason we all just seem to become content with it. Not me, not anymore.
Today I am marking the beginning of my personal revolution. Today I will begin reclaiming me and take charge of the world around. I am going to put myself back out there and remember that those who chose to criticize, demean, or just project negativity towards me, are only road blocks to a better place. I am and will be of some importance to this world before my days are numbered. I don’t know how and may not know how until it has happened, but damn it, I am going to do it.
One of the biggest themes in philosophy is the question of why are we here; well I think the answer is much easier than has ever been let on, which is why some of the world’s most complex minds couldn’t see it. Often the greatest mysteries of life are hidden in plain sight. We over look them because they seem too simple to be the solution to something that we see as being so complex…life.
So then why are we here? Well, I think it’s just to experience life and what it has to offer. Robert Frost once wrote “Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.” Indeed, the biggest joke on would be at the end to find out that we just here to be here, that there was no big reason for it, other than to live and experience the wonders of human life.
Why am I even sharing this, because my hopes are maybe, just maybe, That my simple thoughts may provoke you to think about your own life and take the direction you want with it. We are so worried all of the time about being politically correct, non-prejudice, and non-sexist, unbiased, whatever you want to call it…
Look the fact of life is this, we are all different, and we think, act, feel different things…but instead of spending so much time worrying about how others are different form us, why not just embrace these differences as something that is special to us. And here is the one that surely will get a raise, there is nothing wrong with having a prejudice, we all have them towards one thing or another, in some cases that is people. This is human nature and we just lie to ourselves if we deny it. What is wrong however, is mistreating another because of your prejudice. We are all sent to this world with an equal chance granted not by man, but by the hand of the Almighty. So at the end of the day, unless you are Thee, I suggest letting the judgment of another’s merits be left to the hands in which they belong.
Maybe I don’t like you, I can be honest with you and let you know that, but it doesn’t give me the right to block or make your life more difficult, in reality all it does is degrade the value of me. Luckily however, I have been fortunate by the grace of God to love people in general, I do have my prejudices, but they are based more upon a person’s personality towards me than a skin color, age, mental capacity, or sexual preference.
Well that’s all for right now I have a few other thoughts bouncing around my brain right now that I would like to write about….so maybe I will be back with more soon…who knows. Anywho… Enjoy!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
My Writtings - yes - I wrote them
(untitled)
Surely madness must have been too easy or else we would all be in a blissful state of mind.
We would all be at the grandest of parties indulging our senses to the finest of the king's wines.
And then the band would play as we laugh like children in the school yard.
Surely madness must have been too easy, which explains why they won’t let us loose our minds.
Soul Bound
When the stars are shining bright in the heavens above,
Let yourself drift away.
We are only bound to this earth,
When that’s all we will let ourselves believe.
The world out there has many hidden doors and if for a moment you let go,
You will find your soul cannot be bound.
Adjustment to Chaos
Simple light
Magnificent and bright
Shatters the world around us
Broken dreams
Obscure and obscene
Awaken from your nightly slumber
Torn pages
Written from fools and sages
You cannot read the right way
Nothing is what it seems
As nothing seems what it is
Back and forth
Forth and back
Are you sure which way is up
Nothing is everything
But everything is nothing
This is your mind’s adjustment to chaos
Rotary
Dreams and aspirations
Leading to life’s complications
One way in and no way out
The rotary of life
To drive you round about.
Surely madness must have been too easy or else we would all be in a blissful state of mind.
We would all be at the grandest of parties indulging our senses to the finest of the king's wines.
And then the band would play as we laugh like children in the school yard.
Surely madness must have been too easy, which explains why they won’t let us loose our minds.
Soul Bound
When the stars are shining bright in the heavens above,
Let yourself drift away.
We are only bound to this earth,
When that’s all we will let ourselves believe.
The world out there has many hidden doors and if for a moment you let go,
You will find your soul cannot be bound.
Adjustment to Chaos
Simple light
Magnificent and bright
Shatters the world around us
Broken dreams
Obscure and obscene
Awaken from your nightly slumber
Torn pages
Written from fools and sages
You cannot read the right way
Nothing is what it seems
As nothing seems what it is
Back and forth
Forth and back
Are you sure which way is up
Nothing is everything
But everything is nothing
This is your mind’s adjustment to chaos
Rotary
Dreams and aspirations
Leading to life’s complications
One way in and no way out
The rotary of life
To drive you round about.
Monday, May 3, 2010
AMERICA GONE DARK
I love my country but my faith in the republic founded by great men such as Franklin, Adams, Jefferson, Madison and Washington is gone. We are so far removed from the ideas set forth by these revolutionaries that if they were alive I do believe they would lower their heads in disgust. Was their conflict of ideas and ideals in their time? Of course there was and always will be, but what differs now from then are the individuals who serve us.
In the early years of this country the individuals that served this country spent less time in New York, Philadelphia and later Washington, D.C. and more time back with the people of their state. They were much closer in tune to the concerns and needs of their constituents. Now we have individuals who spend time with their big dollar donors, spend little time in their home states, and quite honestly have little to no knowledge of what live for the average American is like. This is a disease that has been spreading through our nation since the early 1900’s.
More recently however our nation has gone dark. By going dark I specifically mean that intelligence has succumbed to fear and haste reactions. Policies have been formed from those fears. America was awoken to the cruel reality of the world early on the morning of September 11, 2001 and it the darkness has been spreading ever since. President G. W. Bush had a great opportunity out of that disaster to reunite this country and instead choose to use it to drive us forward into an aggressive war with a nation that really had nothing to do with the events of September 11, 2001. However, with a few exceptions the Democrats need to zip their lips on the criticism of this choice as well, because it was their haste and lack of reason as well that authorized the President to take military action against Iraq. As for the current administration, they have merely traded one war for another--the only change here is the location of the war. The American people still act on the fear of another attack and until that fear can be subdued rational thought will not be returned.
More to Come...
In the early years of this country the individuals that served this country spent less time in New York, Philadelphia and later Washington, D.C. and more time back with the people of their state. They were much closer in tune to the concerns and needs of their constituents. Now we have individuals who spend time with their big dollar donors, spend little time in their home states, and quite honestly have little to no knowledge of what live for the average American is like. This is a disease that has been spreading through our nation since the early 1900’s.
More recently however our nation has gone dark. By going dark I specifically mean that intelligence has succumbed to fear and haste reactions. Policies have been formed from those fears. America was awoken to the cruel reality of the world early on the morning of September 11, 2001 and it the darkness has been spreading ever since. President G. W. Bush had a great opportunity out of that disaster to reunite this country and instead choose to use it to drive us forward into an aggressive war with a nation that really had nothing to do with the events of September 11, 2001. However, with a few exceptions the Democrats need to zip their lips on the criticism of this choice as well, because it was their haste and lack of reason as well that authorized the President to take military action against Iraq. As for the current administration, they have merely traded one war for another--the only change here is the location of the war. The American people still act on the fear of another attack and until that fear can be subdued rational thought will not be returned.
More to Come...
HOPE LOST
18 months ago I was celebrating the Presidential victory of then Senator Barack Obama, the man many millions of Americans believed would go to Washington and change the way business was done. I am no different I drank the Kool-Aid and believed things would and could change in Washington and Senator Obama was the one who could do it, but that was 18 months ago.
To date any change that has been made has been superfluous at best and instead of a bi-partisan government working to progress our nation we have resurrected such a divide in the parties that one could say it closely resembles the division around the time of the civil war. This is not the change I voted for and not the change I worked for. I am at a point where I consider my hope in the republic lost. The American promise has been continue transgressed by the hands of politicians and their big dollar donors (special interests) and yes, folks our President has special interests as well.
I once not too long ago considered myself a very supportive Democrat, however I consider myself nothing more than a frustrated American who is wondering who in Washington speaks for me and the millions of other Americans feeling the same way. The Democrats who have pushed forward with their agenda, which don’t get me wrong I like some of the ideas, but most of the deals have been underhanded and done solely at a partisan level . Legislation has been rushed through just to say that it has been done instead of taking the time to thoughtfully and methodically plan and prepare for it (a problem our government has had for many years). Maybe the Republicans can speak for me, a party who after eight years of self-destruction have become not much more than obstructionist, merely saying "No" and offering nothing close to an intelligible alternative. Or maybe, the so called Tea Partiest, who have for one incorrectly used the name of a very patriotic American event? These people actually scare me…not because I think they could take power, but they like any extreme leftist or rightist have been brain washed into believing many false facts and have tried to make a run on that. I have to say none of these people speak for me and none of these people speak for America. They speak for themselves and their own interests. I truly believe that near the end of President Clinton’s second term we entered an age of darkness in this nation and following the events of September 11th, 2001 it became much darker.
To Be Continued....